Random Meanderings

Once I am enveloped in my shelter of cohesion, I will, periodically, need an outlet to try and find some form of peace within myself. During these times, until that release is found and dealt with, I will remain withdrawn, reticent and ineffectual. One form of extrication that has continuously proven to aid me in my search for self worth is writing. Although frequently it is done in anger, there are also many moments of despair that have taken on the embodiment of Dark Poetry or Suicidal Notes. Throughout this journey I would like to introduce you to a few of these pieces. For you, the reader, there might not be any rhyme nor reason found as to why I choose a particular one at that time. Maybe though this randomness of thought will allow you to see what element I am truly in, inside the Box.

** From this point on any entry with the title: Random Meanderings will be one of these such pieces. Let us begin....


To me now there is nothing ahead of me worth the effort. Go ahead, call me weak, a coward, selfish. Maybe I am. But for once I'm doing something for me. Maybe that's how this needs to end. Me finally doing something for myself. Not caring how it effects others. For once. Most of you will be mad. Hate me for what I've done. That's okay, it's natural. It's part of the healing process. Eventually this will mellow. Then you'll begin to question yourselves. Ask what you could have done different to change the outcome. Nothing. Don't bother. It wasn't your choice and nothing to do with you. Maybe, one day, each of you will have some form of understanding. Maybe.